Saturday came. Eventually she got the measurements she wanted. The doctor wanted to do another blood test to confirm a significant drop in my hormone levels. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. I then found that soft markers means 'vague unproven suggestion of a link', and that echogenic locii are small concentrations of calcium which are incredibly common and harmless. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. The first words I said were: "If there's anything wrong then it's my fault", I had been working 70, nearly 80 hours the previous weeks and pushed myself hard. The scan looks for 11 different conditions in your baby and cannot find everything that might be wrong. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. I was another one who did get bad news at the 20 week scan. Scans cannot find all conditions. Could you tell? I did. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. I was experiencing some light bleeding for the past few days. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. Went off for the 20-week scan, which you didn't, you weren't there, were you, for the first scan? I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. I think at that time she had come to terms better with the fact that this baby was going to be terminated, and I don't think I was quite there. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. I swallowed the tablet and we left the building. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. Another sick joke. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. We needed closure, to allow us to grieve properly. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. You could see her face, and the major aspect that was, that was the indication of what was wrong was the thickening at the back of the neck in this instance, which, when you're looking at a fetus is, you know, sort of half a centimetre thicker or not is completely immaterial to me, and would look like a completely normal neck, but from the point of view of the consultant was severely abnormal. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Although the anomaly scan is often called a 20-week scan, you may have it any time between 18 and 22 weeks, although it's usually done between 18 and 20 weeks. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. He bluntly told me, he wasn't interested in whatever was seen before, he was only going to go by what he saw that day. The thing that I have a very strong memory of is this child's face in amazing detail. I felt the dread run through me. You can change your cookie settings at any time. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. We would terminate the pregnancy. No one else but my partner saw how similar he was to our son. 12/12/2012 22:41. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. So it was quite common, this is what happens. The "why me?" Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. Some stories I hear are amazing! And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. There is more detailed information about the main conditions that are looked for during this scan on NHS.UK. There was complete silence during the scan. You will be able to discuss this with your midwife or consultant. And as, and as soon as I saw the pictures of the scan, having had two normal pregnancies, even I could see that there was a marked contrast between this pregnancy and the pictures that I'd had previously. At this point it wasn't looking great. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. Parents get a chance to emotionally adapt to news and plan. Away you go'. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. I want to stop having such horrible thoughts. I had to be rescanned latter. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. It is essential that all practitioners performing fetal anomaly ultrasound screening should be trained to communicate abnormal findings to women, as such information is likely to have significant emotional impact. As I waited for the doctor back on the EPU unit. I felt empty, scared, guilty and incredibly heartbroken. After the triple test you stop thinking, you stop thinking that anything can go wrong. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. I felt I needed proof of what was wrong before I take such a huge decision and that I couldn't do it based on what someone had written on, on the paper. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. Eventually, the midwife said to us very sweetly, "I think we should deliver the baby now." So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. Nights were impossible. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. And it's like, I really wanted to see it and I didn't, and it was it was very mixed. So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. Which is what I'd seen. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. We've joined the grown-ups and we both feel very different. So we had to go in and out a couple of times, and we were just waiting around for ages and ages. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. I want to be nice again. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. The scan will look in detail at your babys bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan. I mean, you just, you're just overwhelmed, it's so much fun. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. So choroid plexus cysts on their own, no problem, but if there's something else wrong, then that's a problem. hi ladies. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. The anomaly scan, also called the 20 week scan or mid-pregnancy scan, is used to detect pregnancy irregularities significant in diagnosis of any of the following conditions: In most instances no serious issue will be found during the scan and many parents-to be will come away knowing that all is progressing nicely and, perhaps, having found out . And so began the most bizarre day of my life. And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. What would we like to do with the body? Check benefits and financial support you can get, Find out about the Energy Bills Support Scheme, NHS fetal anomaly screening programme (FASP), Screening tests for you and your baby (STFYAYB), nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3, more information and details of support groups. I was told this was common as my body and hormones still thought I was pregnant. (See. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. So we hid in our house. She asked me how far gone I thought we were, and if I could have been mistaken. The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. We've got the same battle scars. I wanted to let nature take its course. But he was not sure. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. It doesn't remove the guilt, but I don't know what else to do. So carried on with the plans, and, you know, planning for the, another baby to come along and then we went for a 20- week scan which is obviously the big one and very exciting, seeing all the arms and legs and once again everything was going fine, 'Look here's the baby, here's the length of baby'. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. In this information, the word we refers to the NHS service that provides screening. My partner tried to remain calm, and at my request rang my mum. The sonographer will be able to tell you the results of the scan at the time. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. Anyway we went in for the meeting with the consultant on this particular time, and we'd got to, I was 30 weeks pregnant by then. Why me and not you, you bastard? I had an appointment with my consultant 2 days later, and again he said, you know, 'Very common - shouldn't worry about it too much, you know, if, the problem is if they find anything else wrong'. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. It seemed inconceivable that we would not be having a baby in May. The baby was very, very small. My baby might have Down's syndrome. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. Not a good sign in a hospital consulting room. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and over again. So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. 17/12/2020 17:13. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. I just want to be normal again. However, a few hours later there was another shift change. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. But that was too easy. After preparing myself to face having to take the medication. But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. Nice people shouldn't hear about what we'd done. If you choose not to have the scan you can still have all other parts of your routine antenatal care. We both thought we would like some good to come out of this horrible experience, so wanted to talk to somebody about the possibility of using the body for research purposes. My partner was away working and was waiting to hear whether he was having a son or daughter.
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